Here Comes Trouble
by Keegan Elizabeth
Summary: An attempt at humor, in regards to the 9x02 episode. There's plenty of angst, so I went the humor route. Enjoy.


A/N: It seems we all deal with post 9x02 by writing stories in regards to the episode. I assumed there would be enough angst/drama; therefore, I went the humor route. I call this "Where Sara Sidle Went (Should Have Gone) after She Left Grissom."

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or it's characters. If so, then last Thursday (and previous Thursday's) would have gone differently.

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Like a woman on a mission that she was, she marched right up to the counter and gave the young lady seated behind it a smile. "One round trip ticket to New York. The earliest flight, please."

During the flight, she carefully constructed a well-thought out, rational-sounding speech, which went to hell in a handbasket almost as soon as she arrived at her destination.

"I'd like to see Mr. Mooning, please." She figured it would be best to start out cordial.

The perky blond, appropriately named Candie, looked up from typing on the computer keyboard in front of her. "Sorry, that's not possible. He's in the middle of a _very_ important conference call right now."

"I don't care if he's in a meeting with all the world leaders trying to fix our freaking economy. It's important that I see him."

"Ma'am," she replied sharply, "You're just going to need to take a seat in the waiting area over there, and I'll be sure to pass along that message to Mr. Mooning as soon as possible."

Sara glanced back at the waiting area Candie referred to that was already filled with suits and high-powered corporate women. "No, thank you. I want to see Mr. Mooning now," she said forcefully before walking around the receptionist's desk and toward the door with the president's nameplate on it.

"Ma'am! You CAN'T do that!" she shrieked, worried what her boss was going to say.

"YES, I CAN. Watch me! I just left the man I love to hop on a flight straight here. I'm tired, and I'm upset, which let me tell you is not a great combination."

The door to the president's office opened suddenly. "What seems to be the problem here? I'm trying to have—" he stopped mid-sentence, as he recognized the woman standing in front of him. "Oh, shit. Oh, shit," he thought frantically, "The apocalypse is happening… right here, right now."

"Do you know who I am, Mr. Mooning?" Sara asked, her voice deceptively soft. She smiled at him, only it wasn't one that suggested friendship.

"Of course, I do, Miss Sidle. It's so nice to see you. Why don't you come right this way, and we can talk in the privacy of my office?" he suggested, extending her arm to beckon her forward.

Only she wasn't buying his false manner, she wasn't going to move. She was tired of his games, tired of being his damn puppet.

"No, thank you. I think right here will be fine," she told him. "Plus, I prefer witnesses since I'm not sure I can be held accountable for what I might be tempted to do to you if we were alone."

He took a quick step back.

"Wise move," she thought derisively.

"So, Miss Sidle… what do I owe this pleasure to?" he asked, though he already had an idea of what the visit pertained to, which was why he was shaking –metaphorically and almost literally– in his boots right now.

"I think you know, Mr. Mooning. But, fine, we'll play things your way for the moment."

At some point, the room around her had gone quiet as everyone waited, with breaths held, to see what would unfold.

"It's actually quiet simple. All I want to know is one thing. Just one little thing. Shouldn't be too difficult for you to answer, Mr. Mooning, right?"

He swallowed nervously. "Right."

"What the HELL were you thinking?" she exclaimed so loudly and suddenly that everyone in the room almost jumped.

He opened his mouth, to protest her words, but she stopped him with one look.

"How dare you screw with my life and the life of the man I love? The life that we were creating together?"

"Now, Sara… listen—"

She began pacing in front of him. Continuing as if she hadn't heard him speak, she said, "There I was lying in bed next to Gil, offering him comfort, suggesting that maybe we should go away together. And did you see his face? Did you? What was that? His face didn't change the entire time! Then, he said no –no, he couldn't go away with me. I'm sorry but do you really think that's realistic? A man has a woman in bed with him, and he looks like that? Much less, he turns down the idea of going to a tropical island with that woman?!"

"Um, well…"

"Then… THEN, the whole "who are we talking about" thing in his office. I was freaking out that he didn't want me anymore, and he says nothing. Absolutely nothing!"

She stopped mid-pace and gave him the evil eye for good measure. "My man would not act like that. I mean sure we had problems in the beginning –cough, that were of your creation, cough– but we got through those. In spite of everything that you and your cronies have tried to throw at us through the years—"

"Sara, it's called entertainment," he interrupted her.

"Entertainment? ENTERTAINMENT? That's what you call it?" She laughed harshly. "Unbelievable, freaking unbelievable!" She turned to see that all the visitors, including the receptionist, had matching looks of avid interest on their faces. "Would you like to hear a few of the things this man has allowed to happen, trying to break the bond between the man I love and me?"

The loud shouts of "yes!" probably could have been heard from at least six doors down the hallway.

Holding up her hand and facing Mr. Mooning again, she began naming random incidents, ticking them off one by one with her fingers. "There's the whole raw meat incident in which you had Gil completely disregard the fact that I'm a vegetarian. Then you threw Hank at me to cause more friction. Not to mention, you brought in the dominatrix Lady Leather –oh, excuse me Lady Heather– to try to screw with us. Then there is Lurie and, truth be told, there's a hell of a lot more. But, frankly, I don't have the time or the inclination to cite back to you each and every reference of where and when you have tried to mess with the two of us. I have a plane to catch back to Vegas tomorrow, after all, and I have a feeling I would still be here."

"Miss Sidle," he started.

She wasn't feeling generous. "Uh-uh. I'm still speaking. Despite all that crap you have shoved at us time and time again, we worked it out. He had problems opening up, letting me in… hell, I had my own issues –thanks to you, of course. But love triumphs over evil as they say, or at least as I began to believe because things were finally looking good. Gil and I were happy; he had asked me to move in with him."

A round of "aww's" could be heard from the women in the waiting area.

She turned to smile her thanks before letting the smile fade. "But you weren't happy, were you? You just had to go stick me in the desert under a freaking red mustang! I mean seriously? Who are you? Do you want Gil to end up with Catherine or something? Still, I made it. I wasn't about to give up on my life, my future with Gil. All that pain that I endured in the desert was worth it when Gil finally asked me to marry him."

Gasps came from the women again along with a few "congratulations."

"It was a lovely scene, romantic in its own way. Not conventional, true. But, then again, Gil and I aren't really traditional. The bee proposal thing… I suspect you didn't have much to do with that Mr. Mooning since you just seem to crave creating angst for Gil and I, which was proven –yet again– when you made me leave… LEAVE the man I love, the man that I had just gotten engaged to—"

"You needed to deal with your past…"

"Yeah, and you couldn't of had Gil come with me to help? No, of course not. That would have been way too nice for you to do, right? Still, though you kept Gil and I apart except for the daily phone calls and emails, we managed to sneak around and visit each other a few times."

Seeing Mr. Mooning's startled expression, she smiled. "Didn't know that, huh?" Her voice turned serious as she began again, "Then last week I got a call, saying that I was allowed to come back. But only I find it's at the expense of my friend's death… have you no shame? No mercy? No heart, Mr. Mooning? How can you sleep at night?"

She was getting worked up; she could feel it.

"And then last night –LAST NIGHT– you just had to go and pull that shit? Seriously? Haven't we been through enough already? When will it end? When will it end, damn you!" she questioned, beginning to get choked up with emotion.

Everyone began clapping wildly, rallying around her, telling her that she told him. The receptionist, who hadn't been so friendly at first, came and gave her a hug. "Thank you, Candie," she said, drawing back from the hug and looking directly at Mr. Mooning.

He looked frightened. "I'll fix this," he promised, backing up a step as the others began stepping toward him and glaring at him. "I'll fix this… I'll make sure you and Gil have the happy ending that you deserve."

The support from her impromptu audience gave her the strength to finish and she gave him a fierce, warning look. "You better. Because if not, then I know some people who are more than happy to break out the ninjas on you…"

He gulped, his face turning white.

"That's all I wanted to say. Thank you for your time, Mr. Mooning," she finished in a pleasant tone.

She began walking away, then stopped. Turning back just in time to see Mr. Mooning scurry into his office, she grinned and looked innocent. "What? I just came back to ask where the nearest pet store is."

Candie wore a look of confusion. "Pet store?"

"Yeah, I feel the need to go buy a puppy… name him Grissom."

FIN

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A/N2: Mr. Mooning refers to whom you think it's referring to as well as TPTB in general. A few other notes: The Lady Leather, the ninjas, and lastly naming the new puppy Grissom references were all due to Jen (Jenstog). She often calls Heather Lady Leather. The ninjas were in regards to an email she sent me Friday saying we should hire ninjas to go take care of TPTB (which caused me to laugh and to look up how much ninja hiring would be). Lastly, the puppy thing… if you have read anything of mine, then more than likely you should know I'm firmly in the "The Dog's Name is Bruno" camp, but Jen made that comment Thursday night and I found it amusing.

A/N3: As for the episode, I'll be truthful and say that I was not pleased with it. Hands down my favorite character is (and always will be) Sara, so for that whole scene in his office thing… seriously, I was yelling at my TV. (Btw, this story was written Friday so that's why there are the referrals to "last night.") Anyway, since I've written the story, I'm trying to be a bit, um, more mature. I knew there would be angst; nothing ever goes smoothly for our geeks, right? And it's not really Grissom's fault what he said/didn't say… it's TPTB. So to conclude, my ever long A/Ns, I just want to say I hope you enjoyed this crazy little piece.


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